1. The Doubtful Admission
It’s almost like the more they talk, the more you’re sure that they have a few screws missing. In fact, you might even be breaking the Hippocratic oath just by sitting idly by while the University allows them to become responsible for a future patient/victim’s health.
2. The Infant
Unfortunately, I’ve been friends with a few too many of these for my liking and definitely used to be one myself. But almost everyone knows an infant. You know who they are, they’re the person who can’t help but burst into a fit of laughter every time there’s a nipple on a diagram or when it’s their turn to use the prostate exam dummy.
3. The Multitalented
They’re quite the rare gem. As well as succeeding in exams, they’re in great shape, exercise both mental and physical health, cook absurdly healthy meals, play sports and/or an instrument, they spend quality time with loved ones and still somehow manage to binge entire shows on Netflix. Either they’ve mastered time itself or they have a secret twin.
4. The Serial Complainer
If moaning was an Olympic sport, they’d have enough gold medals to complain about how many gold medals they’d have. After spending a certain amount of time with this person, you slowly begin to realise that their complaining is pathological…maybe even infectious.
5. The Jam Specialist
I understand that ‘jammy’ might be a uniquely British slang. So, to explain, you know the person that’s barely studying through-out the semester but somehow passes all the exams? It feels like the universe is always on their side and even when they fail, they fail in style and charm the teachers while they do so. Yup. That there is a ‘Jam Specialist’.
6. The Ghost
You saw them in the very first lecture of the very first year, but you haven’t seen them since. No one is even sure that they still attend the course but once a year their name is uttered at the ends of a corridor. Your friends start to think you’ve gone mad and who knows? They might be right…A lot of people lose their minds in medical school.
7. The Stress Machine
It’s possible that we’re all one of these at times but there’s always that one person who is the embodiment of stress, pressure and tension put into one. No one wants too much stress but these not-so-rare nocturnal subspecies with coffee in their veins might even like the feeling of it.
8. The GPA Reaper
Yes. The people who loves the first letter of the alphabet more than their own parents. The most heavily researched subspecies of the entire list. New studies have found that these students dream about potential questions that the teacher is going to ask in the next class so that they’re prepared for every possibility. If you gave them the option, they’d probably choose to not graduate so that they can continue keeping a perfect GPA.
9. The ‘one foot out of the door’ Type
They’re easy to spot because they’re actually interesting people unlike the rest of us. Due to some reason or another, they’ve ended up in medical school when their heart clearly lies somewhere else. Either they find out early that they’re not cut out for med-school life or they survive long enough to see that it’s too late to do anything about it. Maybe one day they’ll get to be a wildlife photographer.
10. The Chosen One
Marked by the medicine gods themselves. They knew they wanted to work in a hospital ever since they were birthed in one. They’ve never considered it a job and they probably never will. When you ask them what love is, the first thing they think of is the smell of a new anatomy textbook. They even have a secret tattoo of the pathways of the vagus nerve all over their body. Born with the entire medical encyclopaedia in their mind, they will not stop until they fulfil their destiny. Ashwin Manivannan is a 4th-year medical student at Masaryk University. He is an Education Officer at UIMS and MIMSA who is currently on the market, ready to fall in love with a medical speciality that he wants to spend the rest of his life with.